How to Let Go of Control and Stop Picking Up the Slack

This post came about after I asked a simple question in my 5-day email series on burnout prevention: “What’s the biggest challenge you’re facing with burnout in your business?” One reply really stood out to me, and I realized it’s something so many of us deal with. They wrote:

“I think my biggest issue is always taking on other people’s jobs/assignments because they move too slowly and/or fall behind on their deadlines. I have learned to delegate, but I realize what is important to me is just not that important to other people. It is disheartening…but, I carry on. I suppose there is a bit of resentment and frustration there…but, I power through.”

Reading this, I immediately connected with the frustration of feeling like you’re the one constantly picking up the slack. I’ve faced this same challenge—taking on extra work, feeling resentful, and wondering why others don’t seem as invested. I thought it was important to share this conversation because it highlights a common struggle: managing the balance between delegation, responsibility, and burnout.

Let’s dive into why this happens, the impact it has on us, and how we can shift our mindset to protect our energy and avoid burnout.

Why We Feel Resentment

Resentment often creeps in when we go above and beyond for others and don’t see that effort reciprocated. You may feel like you’re the one always picking up the pieces or covering for people who fall behind. Over time, that builds frustration, and you start feeling burnt out—not just from the extra work but from the emotional toll it takes.

One of the hardest things to accept is that people won’t always value things the same way you do. What’s urgent and important to you may not be to them. And while that’s tough to accept, it’s also key to letting go of the resentment.

Why Expecting Others to Match Our Effort is Unreasonable

Resentment often creeps in when we go above and beyond for others and don’t see that effort reciprocated. You may feel like you’re the one always picking up the pieces or covering for people who fall behind. Over time, that builds frustration, and you start feeling burnt out—not just from the extra work but from the emotional toll it takes.

One of the hardest things to accept is that people won’t always value things the same way you do. What’s urgent and important to you may not be to them. And while that’s tough to accept, it’s also key to letting go of the resentment.

Letting Go of Control: The Power of Boundaries

While we can’t always control the actions of others, we can control how much we let those actions affect us—and how much responsibility we take on when it’s not ours to carry.

When people fail to meet their deadlines or don’t seem as invested in the project, it’s tempting to step in and take over. But that becomes a dangerous cycle. The more we pick up the slack, the more it becomes expected of us. To break this cycle, we sometimes have to let the chips fall where they may.

In team settings, this means allowing others to face the consequences of their actions. If someone doesn’t meet their deadline or deliver what was promised, resist the urge to swoop in and fix everything. Let the project’s outcome reflect their contribution. While it might feel uncomfortable, it’s a necessary step in holding others accountable—and in preserving your own energy and mental well-being.

Learning to Say No Without Guilt

I used to struggle with saying no, especially when it came to team projects or collaborative work. I felt that if I didn’t step in to keep things running smoothly, everything would fall apart. But over time, I realized that constantly saying yes to everything—whether it was picking up the slack or taking on extra tasks—was leading to burnout. I was sacrificing my own well-being to keep things afloat.

Learning to say no, or at least not overextend myself, was a game-changer. By setting boundaries and understanding that not every project needs my constant involvement, I freed up time and energy for the things that truly matter. And guess what? The world didn’t fall apart when I started saying no more often.

Shifting Your Focus: What’s Truly Yours to Carry?

The key to letting go of resentment and frustration is redefining what’s truly yours to carry. You can care about a project and be committed to its success without doing more than your fair share. The moment you start taking on too much—whether it’s at work, in your business, or in personal relationships—you’re shifting the balance.

Instead of powering through with a sense of frustration, pause and ask yourself: Is this really my responsibility? Am I stepping in because I feel I have to, or because I don’t trust others to do their part?

Learning to step back when needed and trust others to handle their responsibilities (even if it means letting things slip) is key to protecting your own mental and emotional health.

The Bottom Line: Focus on What You Can Control

At the end of the day, we can’t control how others behave, how they value deadlines, or how they prioritize their tasks. But we can control how we respond, how much we take on, and how we protect our energy.

If you find yourself always stepping in to “fix” things or picking up the slack, try setting boundaries. Communicate your expectations, but don’t be afraid to let others face the consequences of their actions. By letting go of what’s not yours to carry, you’ll free up space for the things that matter most to you—and that’s where your energy is best spent.